WOW...I'M BACK....BEEN A BIT....LOTS HAS HAPPENED

It has been a bit since I last wrote in my blog....I forgot about it. I got busy with other things...working....traveling home to see my children...COVID....my own illness. But I have felt a strong NUDGE to use my voice again...and looked around for a platform and funnily this one fell into my lap again...SO I AM BACK...MORE LATER.....FUZZY HUGS ALL.

Midterm Elections in the United Sates

Time and time again I watch people vote against their own best interests...why...because they so afraid that if someone else gets something that they will lose out...people believe in the myth of "scarcity of abundance" and interestingly every time we vote in a manner that targets others "not getting something" we all lose because most of those folks we vote for don't care about us...they only care about themselves and their cronies and until we wake to them we will continue to struggle...and before you ask yes I did vote.

Trayvon Martin

I have been silent on the Trayvon Martin case because I had no words. I only had an overwhelming sense of grief. Someone said she was in mourning and then I realised that is what I am feeling.  Why am I so sad? Why am I not angry?  What am I grieving?

Trayvon Martin wasn’t my son. My son is an adult but I think I see my son at 16/17 years old in Trayvon Martin.  I asked my son what he would have done at age 17 if he was being followed by a strange male. He said he didn’t know but he guessed he might run. I think that is partially true. I think he would have run unless he was cornered then he would have fought back.

The strange part of all of this is that WE, the Black people, are still asking OURSELVES what WE can do to prevent these things from happening again and again. Well, we could change our skin color. Oh right, that is not possible. I think I just realized part of what I am mourning. I am mourning the idea that a Black life in America has any value at all.

Someone made the comment to me that Florida has some f*cked- uped laws and courts.  This was my response to him:

“if it was only Florida I would be able to find the words to discuss it. But the reality is that this case harkens back to the Jim Crow days when as a Black person you had to cross the street or walk in the street if a White was walking toward you. Also, a Black person was expected to lower their eyes and act deferentially toward any white person for fear of being attacked or killed. Black mothers have been telling their sons for far too long how to deal with the police. When a man like Levar Burton has to put his hands outside the window of his car when he is stopped by the police for fear of being shot, there is something wrong in America. As much as I love my son I wish he had been born a girl. I would still worry about him but I would not worry that some gun-toting wannabe will kill him simply because he doesn't like how he looks. I am part of the first generation to attend university and I think we believed that if we followed the "rules" we would be treated according to the "content of our character" rather than the "color of our skin". We were sold a bill of goods and nothing proves that more than the lack of respect for President and Mrs. Obama. This is a mistake for America. It is a mistake to continue to discount and marginalize this segment of society. All we want to equal justice. We want to be able enjoy our lives and our families without living in fear. We want to NOT have to explain to our children especially our sons how and why THEY have to change their behavior SO they won't be killed by some rogue person on a power trip. The hardest part of all of this is...WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO TELL OUR CHILDREN/OUR SONS NOW?”

Almost every parent of Black sons that I have seen is asking themselves this question. And we would like to have a answer from the TPTB...WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO TELL OUR CHILDREN/OUR SONS NOW? I am waiting to hear the answer.

A Visit Home, Knitter's Block, Back to Crocheting

Long time no posting once again. Since the last time I wrote I have been home to the States to visit my family. I spent 2 weeks there. During that time I crocheted a scarf for my daughter and met my son's girlfriend. Also, I got to eat some things that are not available in Australia. The funniest part of being in the States is the abundance of items that I could buy for 1.00. Some of the same items in Australia cost at least 3.00 or more. I would see something for a dollar and would have to buy it just because it cost only one dollar. The best yarny part of my trip was being able to buy some balls of Lily's Sugar n' Creme for less than $2 a ball.

I am still having a bit of knitter's block. Currently, I am crocheting a poncho for a friend's daughter. I am sort of using a pattern but adjusting it quite a bit...hope mother and daughter like it.

This is the scarf I crocheted for my daughter...Sea Shell Scarf.

Took my own advice

The last two days I took my own advice and went yarn shopping. I had a $10 coupon from Spotlight. I bought some Cleckheaton Country 8ply, some Panda Machinewash 5ply and a skein of Moda Vera Noir. The Cleckheaton is destined for a scarf for my daughter. The Panda and Noir will become socks for my husband. I felt so much better after I left Spotlight. I was so pleased with bargains I found. I was able to purchase $26 of yarn for $16. The next day I stopped into my LYS, Evoke, to have a look at yarn. I like going to her store. She is such a warm and welcoming person. I wasn't going to buy any yarn. I always think I can spend the money in a "better" way. I overheard her talking about having to cut her hours to keep the shop afloat. In that moment I realised that I was focused on my "lack" of resources and was manifesting that lack in one of my favorite places. I had been pining over yarn and thinking I can't afford enough to make a top. I decided that if I wanted her store to remain open I needed to contribute to that by purchasing what I could afford. I bought 2 skeins of Mirasol Contanini in turquoise with the intention to buy another 2 in a fortnight until I have enough to complete a garment. Also, I talked with her about offering workshops that combine mindfulness with knitting/crochet as means for handling depression and anxiety. I am  reading on the topic of knitting and the brain. More on that later. Now to start some knitting of my own.

Family drama, bad service and knitter's block

Sigh, it has been a while since I last wrote an entry in this blog. I have been busy doing some knitting, taking care of my husband and trying to take care of myself. We have recently returned from a trip to Melbourne to visit DH's old stomping grounds and his oldest daughter. There was a bit of drama regarding his other children recently. He would love it if they would come to see him but they are children and it is a shame when one parent poison children against the other parent. There was a dispute between his younger children and their grandparents and as usual DH was used as a threat against them. We got a phone call from the children asking if it was okay for his youngest daughters to come for a visit. We said yes of course which set in motion a drama which resulted in the children not coming to visit.

You would think that service in the Big City (Melbourne) would be worse than in a small town. It is a given that service in Australia is different than in the US. I am a Black woman from the US married to an Australian. The US in various places can be a place full of racism but to be honest I have never experienced anything like the open hostility that I experience in the small town that we live in. If DH and I are together people will talk to him like I am invisible even when the service we are seeking has to do with me. I had to threaten to sue in the local Woolworth's because every time I went in the store I was accused of shoplifting by one particular shop assistant. That does not happen any more but clearly that store has some management problems because I will still be ignored at the deli if I am there without DH. There are only four businesses in the local area from which I/we get excellent service: Evoke Designer Yarn and Fabric, Gloria Jean's Coffee, Flightcentre, and EBGames.

To top it all off, I am having a bad case of knitter's block. I haven't knitted anything in a couple of weeks. I can't seem to decide what to make. I want to start some socks for DH, a hat for my son, and a scarf for my daughter. I think I am in the space that I find myself in when I have too many things to do and can't decide which thing to start. Common sense says get started on son's hat and daughter's scarf since I will be seeing them in a about a month when I go to the US for a visit but I am just blocked. I think I need to wander through the yarn store and find the right yarn and/or the right pattern. Or perhaps I need to give myself a swift kick to the bum and just start knitting. Maybe I will feel better and not so depressed.

Magic Ball Swap

DSCF1135[1], a photo by rose-cat on Flickr.